Throwing a party is a trend for those recently divorced. What the party looks like depends on what the divorce looked like. Those who ended on friendly terms tend to have a tasteful get-together to express that they still have respect and consideration for each other and want their loved ones to as well. Those who had high-conflict divorces use the party as an opportunity to figuratively seek revenge on their ex through means such as burning belongings and gifts. Consider the following pros and cons as you decide if you want to have a divorce party.
If you still have a courteous relationship with your ex, a divorce party may serve as a way to highlight the good memories and focus on the positives of the situation. It can help maintain friendly feelings among all involved as your loved ones see your example. The party can mark and celebrate the start of a new chapter in each of your lives. You can still take this approach even if you have a hostile divorce. Choosing to see your divorce as a positive opportunity can help you heal and move forward with hope.
If you have a contentious divorce, the party can be an avenue to accomplish the following:
- Feel support and acceptance from friends and family.
- Get out negative emotions in a humorous way.
- Celebrate surviving your divorce and the relief of it finally being over.
- Welcome independence and a new beginning.
It can also be a practical event in the way of a bridal shower: gifts of possessions you may have lost in the divorce or self-care items and activities.
If taken too far, a vengeful divorce party can hinder your healing by nurturing negative feelings that only harm your emotional and physical health. It can also be expensive and unhealthily distracting if you decide to hire a planner and have extravagant festivities, as you may have done for your wedding.
Regardless of how your divorce proceeds, you should also consider the feelings of your children. They may not be comfortable with the idea or want to be a part of it. Talk to them to find out their thoughts on a divorce party, whether it is a cordial one or not.
While a divorce party can be a positive part of your journey, the most effective way to come out of a divorce intact is to approach it properly. Be smart and plan ahead to make it less stressful. Most important, hire a qualified family law attorney to guide you through the process.